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Social Injustice Ate My Homework

Now, why didn’t I think of this when I was in college?

Social Injustice Ate My Homework:

Those Harvard students have produced an open letter, in which they demand that their examinations be delayed. “Like many across the country,” its authors claim, students “are traumatized” and “visibly distressed” — to the extent that there is now a “palpable anguish looming over campus.” The “national crisis” that has been provoked by the cases of Garner and Brown, they argue, has left them with no choice but to “stand for justice rather than sit and prepare for exams.” And, like their brethren at Columbia, they contend that their “being asked to prepare for and take our exams in this moment” amounts to their “being asked to perform incredible acts of disassociation” — requests, which taken together, have led them “to question our place in this school community and the legal community at large.” The bottom line? That students must be given “the opportunity to reschedule their exams in good faith and at their own discretion.”

Ugly as the Brown and Garner cases were, one can’t help but feel that what constitutes a “National Emergency” or a “personal crisis” is being rather dramatically defined down here — possibly to the vanishing point. In the course of their missive, the vexed students claim that “because this national tragedy implicates the legal system to which we have chosen to dedicate our lives, it presents us with a fundamental crisis of conscience and demands our immediate attention.” This, I’d venture, is an effectively irrefutable claim — and not in the good sense. Rather, it is the Interstate Commerce Clause of dog-ate-my-homework pretexts: an unlimited, self-serving, and infinitely malleable rationale that can be used at any time and for any reason. If our law students are to insist upon special dispensation each and every time the justice system fails to live up to its promise, our exam halls will be empty in perpetuity.

Let’s see…my time in college included (among other things) Tiananmen Square, the Gulf War, the Soviet collapse, the Waco standoff, the Northridge and Loma Prieta earthquakes, the Oklahoma City bombing, the Olympic Park bombing, Black Hawk Down, and most of the Yugoslav secession conflicts. Just think of all the exams I could have postponed or gotten out of altogether if I’d thought of this cockamamie excuse for screwing off instead of doing my coursework.

And what SJW missive would be complete without a moronic misuse of the language?

Somewhat theatrically, the signatories contend that they have thus far “spent countless hours leveraging our legal educations, and utilizing our platform and privilege as students of this institution.”

I recoil from the word “utilize” in particular because it is almost universally misused by those wishing to sound important and weighty. But in this case maybe the sense of “using something for a purpose other than that for which it was intended” applies – the students are supposed to be studying law, but they’re using their position as law students to fluff their egos, attention whore, and feed their narcissism under the fig leaf of ‘doing social justice’.

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